Expert Tips That Will Calm a Fussy Newborn Baby

You’ve fed her. You’ve burped her. Her nappy is clean and dry. You’re holding her, rocking her, murmuring every soothing thing you can think of. You even took her to the GP or health visitor last week and got the all clear. So why is she still screaming like something is terribly wrong?

First, take a breath. A crying baby who is otherwise healthy is one of the hardest things to sit with as a parent, but it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. Newborns cry. Some cry a lot. Below are the things that genuinely help most families, along with some honest detail on colic, because that word gets used very loosely and it helps to know what it actually means.

What is colic, really?

The rule of thumb doctors often use (sometimes called “the rule of three”) is that colic describes a healthy, well-fed baby who cries for more than three hours a day, on more than three days a week, for longer than three weeks. It usually starts around two to three weeks of age, tends to peak around six weeks, and generally eases off by three or four months. That’s a long stretch when you’re living through it.

Nobody knows exactly what causes colic. Theories include an immature digestive system, trapped wind, sensitivity to something in mum’s diet if breastfeeding, or simply a baby’s nervous system still adjusting to life outside the womb. There’s no single fix, and that’s genuinely frustrating, but most babies grow out of it completely with no lasting effects.

It’s worth saying clearly: colic is a description, not a diagnosis in the way an ear infection is. If your baby’s crying seems different from usual, if she’s feverish, not feeding well, vomiting forcefully, has a rash that doesn’t fade when you press it, or seems floppy or unusually sleepy, that’s not “just colic” and you should ring your GP, health visitor or out of hours service and get her checked. Trust your gut here. You know your baby better than anyone else does.

If the crying is wearing you down and you’re starting to feel overwhelmed, panicky or resentful, please talk to someone too, your health visitor, your GP, your partner, a friend. Constant crying is genuinely hard on parents’ mental health and there’s no medal for struggling through it alone.

Movement that mimics the womb

Many babies settle with gentle, rhythmic movement, probably because it echoes the constant motion they felt in the womb. A few things worth trying:

• Babywearing. A sling or wrap carrier keeps your baby upright and close to your heartbeat while freeing up your hands. Walking around the house, or outside if the weather allows, often works better than standing still.
• The car seat trick. The combination of the engine’s vibration and the motion of driving soothes a lot of babies. Never leave a baby unattended in a car seat, but a short drive around the block with someone else at the wheel can buy you both a breather.
• Swings and bouncers. Some babies love the swaying motion of an infant swing or bouncy chair. Always follow the weight and age guidelines on the product and never leave your baby unsupervised in one.
• Swaying and gentle bouncing. You don’t need equipment. Holding your baby upright against your chest and swaying side to side, or doing gentle knee bounces while seated, is often enough.

Sound: sometimes less, sometimes more

A room that’s too stimulating, bright lights, a blaring television, several people talking at once, can tip an already overwhelmed newborn into full meltdown. If your baby seems overstimulated rather than uncomfortable, try dimming the lights, turning things off, and giving her a calm, quiet space for a few minutes.

On the flip side, plenty of babies are soothed by steady, low-level white noise, since it resembles the whooshing, rumbling sounds they heard constantly in the womb. Paediatrician Dr Harvey Karp, known for his “5 S’s” method, is a big advocate of shushing: a long, drawn-out “shhhh” said firmly close to your baby’s ear, matching the intensity of her crying and gradually softening as she calms. It sounds odd until you try it. Many parents find it works surprisingly fast.

If your voice gives out, a vacuum cleaner, extractor fan, hairdryer (from a safe distance) or a dedicated white noise machine can do the job. If you use a white noise machine or app, keep the volume moderate (roughly the level of a shower running) and place it well across the room rather than right next to the cot. Some health bodies suggest running it for shorter stretches rather than all night, every night, so it’s worth checking the manufacturer’s guidance and not relying on it as the only way your baby can settle.

Swaddling and the comfort of being held tightly

In the womb your baby had very little room to move. Out here, suddenly, her arms and legs can flail freely, and that startle reflex (the Moro reflex) can wake her up or set off crying just when she was starting to settle. A snug swaddle recreates that contained, held feeling and can genuinely help some babies fall and stay asleep.

A few safety points matter here. Swaddle from the chest down with hips and legs able to move a little (too tight around the hips isn’t good for hip development), keep it snug enough that it won’t come loose, and always put your baby down to sleep on her back. Stop swaddling for sleep once your baby shows any signs of rolling, usually somewhere around two to four months, since a swaddled baby who rolls onto her front can’t free her arms to reposition herself, which is a genuine safety risk. If you’re not confident with technique, ask your midwife or health visitor to show you, or use a swaddle sleep bag designed for the purpose rather than a loose blanket.

Ruling out physical discomfort

You’ve checked the obvious things, but a few less obvious sources of discomfort are worth thinking through:

• Clothing. A scratchy label, a tight cuff, a seam pressing somewhere awkward, or a synthetic fabric that’s too warm can all bother a newborn’s sensitive skin. Loose, soft, breathable cotton is usually the safest bet.
• Wind and tummy discomfort. A newborn’s digestive system is brand new to the job, and trapped wind is genuinely uncomfortable for a lot of babies. Try more frequent burping during feeds, cycling her legs gently while she’s on her back, or a gentle clockwise tummy massage. If you’re bottle feeding, check the teat flow isn’t too fast, since gulping air along with milk can make wind worse.
• Nappy rash or skin irritation. This can sting well before it’s obviously visible. Check her bottom, thighs and any skin folds regularly, and change nappies promptly, especially after dirty ones.
• Temperature. Newborns can’t regulate their temperature as well as older babies. Check the back of her neck or her tummy (not her hands or feet, which are often cooler) to see if she feels too hot or too cold, and dress her for the room rather than by feel alone.
• Overtiredness. This one catches a lot of parents out. An overtired newborn often cries harder rather than settling, because she’s overstimulated and past the point of being able to switch off. Watching for early tired cues, yawning, jerky movements, turning away from faces, and getting her down for a nap before she’s fully overwrought can make a real difference.

Occasionally, persistent crying after feeds, arching the back, or bringing up unusual amounts of milk can point to reflux, a milk sensitivity, or something else worth mentioning to your GP or health visitor. It’s not something to diagnose yourself from a website, ours included, but it is worth flagging if the pattern seems consistent rather than random.

When nothing seems to work

Some evenings, none of this will work, and that’s genuinely normal, not a sign of failure on your part. Put your baby down safely in her cot for a few minutes if you need to step away and collect yourself. Take turns with your partner or another trusted adult if you can. Crying that goes on and on is exhausting to listen to, and it’s fine to admit that.

Most colicky crying resolves on its own by three to four months as your baby’s nervous system and digestion mature. Until then, try the things above, lean on the people around you, and don’t hesitate to call your health visitor or GP if anything about the crying, or about how you’re coping with it, worries you.

For more, read our other articles:

• Things to know about newborns
• 10 Life-Altering Baby Care Hacks