10 Things Pediatricians want Parents to Know

Doctors spend most of their working day being careful, measured and, let’s be honest, pretty diplomatic. That’s exactly what you want when your child is unwell. But it does mean there’s a whole layer of honest, slightly cheekier advice that rarely makes it into a ten-minute appointment.

Years ago, paediatrician Dr Sara DuMond wrote a piece called “Top 10 Confessions of a Pediatrician” that pulled back the curtain a bit. I’ve used her list as a jumping-off point here, but added in the practical detail I wish someone had told me as a new parent: what to actually do with this information, and when it’s worth picking up the phone to your own doctor, GP or health visitor.

1. A cold really is “just” a cold, most of the time

Doctors have a habit of dressing up ordinary illnesses in Latin. “Viral upper respiratory tract infection” sounds alarming until you realise it’s medical-speak for a common cold. Most colds in children run for seven to ten days, sometimes up to two weeks, and the snot can change colour (clear to yellow to green and back again) without it meaning anything sinister.

What’s actually worth a call to your doctor is a child who seems to be getting better and then suddenly gets worse again, a fever that returns after several fever-free days, ear pain, noisy or laboured breathing, or a cough that isn’t improving after two to three weeks. If you’re ever unsure, it’s completely reasonable to get your child checked. That’s what appointments are for, and no GP or health visitor will think less of you for booking one that turns out to be “nothing serious.”

2. Fever is a symptom, not the enemy

A lot of parents get caught in what doctors sometimes call “fever phobia”: setting alarms through the night to alternate paracetamol and ibuprofen, or sponging a child down with cold water to bring a number down. The temperature itself, in an otherwise well child over three months old, is rarely the dangerous part. Fever is your child’s immune system doing its job. There’s no specific number, not even 40°C (104°F), that automatically causes harm on its own.

There is one genuine exception worth remembering: a baby under three months old with a temperature of 38°C (100.4°F) or higher needs to be seen by a doctor straight away, even if they otherwise seem fine. Their immune systems work differently and infections can progress quickly at that age.

For older babies and children, what matters more than the thermometer reading is how they’re behaving. Speak to your doctor or health visitor if your child:

• Is very floppy, unusually drowsy, or hard to wake
• Has a rash that doesn’t fade when you press a glass against it
• Is struggling to breathe, grunting, or breathing very fast
• Is refusing fluids or has fewer wet nappies than usual
• Has a fever lasting more than four to five days

Fever medicine is there to make your child more comfortable, not to chase a specific number on the thermometer. If your child has a temperature but is playing, drinking and generally themselves, they may not need medicine at all.

3. Be a bit wary of “Dr Google”

There’s nothing wrong with reading up before an appointment, and plenty of parents (myself included) like to walk in feeling informed rather than blindsided. The trouble is that search results don’t sort themselves by accuracy. Forums, symptom checkers and social media groups are full of well-meaning but unreliable information, and it’s easy to end up more anxious than when you started.

Stick to sources like the NHS website, the Royal College of Paediatrics and Child Health, or your country’s equivalent official health body, and treat anything else as a starting point for questions rather than a diagnosis. Writing your questions down before an appointment is genuinely useful. Doctors would much rather you ask “I read X, is that relevant here?” than sit at home worrying about it.

4. Running behind schedule usually means someone else needed more time

Sitting in a waiting room with a restless toddler while your appointment slot comes and goes is genuinely frustrating, and it’s fair to feel that way. But it’s worth remembering that the delay is often because another family needed longer, not because your doctor is disorganised.

A few things help in practice: ask for the first appointment of the morning or straight after lunch, when clinics are least likely to have backed up. Pack a small distraction bag just for waiting rooms (a couple of books or a quiet toy kept especially for that purpose works well). And if you’re running late yourself, call ahead. Most practices would rather rearrange than have you rush in stressed.

5. Out-of-hours calls are expected, not resented

Most paediatricians and GPs will tell you they’d rather get a call at 3am about a worried parent than have that same parent sit up all night unsure what to do. That said, it’s worth knowing in advance what your local system actually looks like, because it varies. In the UK, that usually means calling NHS 111 or your GP’s out-of-hours line rather than the surgery itself. It’s worth saving that number in your phone before you need it, not while you’re holding a crying baby at 3am trying to Google it.

For anything that feels like a genuine emergency (difficulty breathing, a seizure, unresponsiveness, a rash that doesn’t fade under pressure), go straight to A&E or call 999 rather than waiting for an out-of-hours callback.

6. Some hand-me-down advice hasn’t aged well

Every generation passes down bits of medical folklore that sound plausible but don’t hold up. Constipation causing a fever isn’t something there’s good evidence for. Ear tugging on its own isn’t a reliable sign of an ear infection either, babies pull at their ears for all sorts of reasons including teething, tiredness or simply discovering their own ears exist. Teething itself is generally linked to mild symptoms like irritability and drooling, not high fever, so a hot, unwell baby with new teeth coming through still deserves a proper check rather than being put down to teething.

None of this is about dismissing grandparents, who usually have good instincts and a lot of love behind the advice. It’s just worth double-checking anything that involves medicating, feeding restrictions, or home remedies with your GP, pharmacist or health visitor before trying it.

7. Sometimes there isn’t a neat answer, and that’s normal

With a lot of childhood rashes, fevers and tummy upsets, doctors genuinely can’t pin down an exact cause, and that’s not a failing on their part. What a good examination should do is rule out anything serious or urgent, and give you a clear plan for what to watch for and when to come back.

If something doesn’t sit right with you, say so. You know your child better than anyone in the room. Asking “what would make you worried, and when should I bring them back?” is a completely fair question to leave an appointment with, and any decent doctor will welcome it rather than being put out by it.

8. Ear examinations are nobody’s favourite part

Ask most parents what the worst bit of a check-up is and they’ll say the ear exam, right after vaccinations. Ask most doctors the same question and you’ll get the same answer. Holding a squirming toddler still enough to get a clear look at the eardrum with an otoscope is genuinely fiddly, even for someone who’s done it thousands of times.

You can help by sitting your child on your lap facing sideways, wrapping your arms gently around their arms and body, and keeping your voice calm even if they’re upset. It looks and sounds worse than it is, and it’s over in seconds.

9. They really do care about your child

Most people don’t go into paediatrics by accident. The stickers, the silly voices, the games of peekaboo mid-examination, that’s not just technique to get a wriggly toddler to sit still, it usually comes from a genuine fondness for kids. Even the child who screams at the sight of a tongue depressor or refuses point blank to stand on the scales is, to most paediatricians, part of what makes the job worthwhile.

10. Give yourself some grace

Most doctors will tell you, off the record, that an occasional missed bedtime, a chocolate biscuit for breakfast, or a dummy that’s had a quick rinse rather than a full sterilise after hitting the floor isn’t the parenting crisis it can feel like at 7pm on a hard day. Parenting books tend to describe an orderly version of family life that most households don’t actually live.

That said, a couple of things are worth taking seriously rather than shrugging off: sunburn on babies and young children (their skin is more vulnerable and it’s worth being genuinely careful with sun cream and shade), and food or choking hazards. The rest of it, the mismatched socks, the skipped bath, the second episode of the same cartoon, really is fine. Doing your best on most days is a perfectly good standard to hold yourself to.

The takeaway

Doctors see hundreds of families a year, and most of what worries you as a parent is something they’ve talked a family through many times before. That doesn’t make your worry any less valid, it just means you’re not on your own with it. If in doubt about your own child’s symptoms, always check with your GP, health visitor or paediatrician rather than relying on a list like this one. But on the smaller stuff, the stuff that keeps you up worrying at 2am for no real reason, it’s alright to take a breath and trust that you’re doing a decent job.