It’s no secret that getting dolled up and taking a night out on the town with your spouse becomes an entire ordeal once a baby arrives on the scene. We have all been advised to keep our weekly date nights, especially once the family grows from two to three, but how realistic is dating your spouse with a new baby at home?
And how important are date nights really?
With the new addition to your family, it is too easy to ward off and write off date nights.
The difference between date nights before baby and date nights after baby are substantial. From having plenty of time to doll up to having little or no time to prepare yourself for a date, it can almost seem as though finding a babysitter, going out, and spending money is only a hassle. But what if dating your spouse actually helps you care for your baby?
Date nights, the report says, “may be particularly valuable” in our times, when culture accents the soul-mate model of marriage. As a result, couples “increasingly expect high levels of intimacy, communication and personal fulfillment” from their relationship. // foryourmarriage.org
When caring for a baby (or multiple children), it is extremely easy to become caught up in solely wearing the hat “parent,” thus neglecting the hat “spouse.” The demands of caring for your baby are high and perpetual, where as your spouse is an adult and can take care of himself. But many studies and researches have shown that couple time actually decreases the chance of divorce. Divorce brings tension and stress to the family as a whole, including baby; avoiding the tension that often leads up to divorce can be greatly diminished simply by spending time together alone and building your relationship bonds stronger.
Date nights strengthen a couple’s communication and gives the opportunity to deepen their understanding of one another. Communicating is one of the most important aspects of a healthy marriage and relationship, therefore if a date night only helps to strengthen that aspect, by all means! Go on a date! Share with one another how your days are going, catch one another up on where your hearts are at, and grow closer to one another. Meeting these emotional needs for your spouse solidifies their commitment to you and you to them, bringing you closer together, and creating a much healthier atmosphere for a growing and developing baby.
Babies can most definitely experience and sense tension and stress in the home and family. Your baby’s development depends on nurturing, and when there is yelling and disconnect in the adult relationship, your baby can sense it.
Date nights are also a great avenue to relieve stress. Babies often invite more stress to the marriage and family, simply due to the sole fact that you sleep less, making you a little more irritable. Date nights allows a couple “to enjoy time with one another apart from the pressing concerns of their ordinary life.” Date nights also may serve couples as an opportunity “to extend emotional support to one another in times of trial.”
Raising a baby and helping him or her grow is a constant and perpetual task of “doing.” But date night is about connecting with each other rather than getting things done.
Date night offers a needed break from the demands of everyday life. It’s a time to set aside your to-do list and focus on each other. To listen. To express affection. To feel close. // huffingtonpost.com
Caring for your baby is a high demanding responsibility. Caring for your marriage and relationship is also a heavy responsibility; what if we took dating and pursuing our spouse seriously, believing that if we are healthy relationship-wise, we will care much better for our baby? What if we understood that some of their emotional development depends on our healthy relationship? When our emotional and physical needs are met by the one we need them most met by, we are much better off and much more likely to be more relaxed and present for our children.
Date nights: they help you care for your baby.