No, you may not have that $84 toy truck.
No, you may not practice your coloring skills on the wall.
No, you may not eat ice cream for dinner instead of the meal i just spent 2 hours making!
No is such a little word with lots of influence that you as a parent will repeat over and over. What happens after the word No is what prevents most parents from saying it enough to their children; you know, the tantrum followed by screaming and death by whining.
The number one reason why you need to say no to your child? A constant stream of YES’s will lead to a spoiled child. It is not healthy for a child to always get their way because the parents are afraid of what will happen if they say no. Children are not emotionally developed enough to self regulate , its your job as the parent to do it.
Here are a few ways to say no and avoid the tantrum that follows.
#1 Find a way to redirect
Instead of saying No straight out the bat, find something else that is acceptable for your child to do.
For example, a child who wants to kick the ball in the house can be told to kick the ball outside instead. This presents a viable alternative that is acceptable. Instead of your child feeling forbidden to play with their ball.
#2 Ask questions
Don’t jump to ‘No’ immediately, ask your child why instead.
For example when your child asks you for something in the supermarket, ask them why they want it. Questioning your child will remove their concentration from the “must have now” state and engage their mind in figuring out answer to your question. Their answer will give you insight into their thinking and also helps them feel like they have been heard
#3 Use alternatives
“Not today”. “Maybe another time” are examples of alternatives to no.
#4 Keep it short
This is especially important when dealing with younger children who do not have the intellectual capacity to reason as you do.
For example, use a short clear statement such as “Its not okay to hit your friend” then move the child away from the situation and engage them in another activity. Long explanations only confuse children further.
How do you get your children to accept your “NO”?
First published at learnvest.com