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Confessions of Sleep Deprived Parents

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Sleep deprived parents do the darnedest things and the exhaustion you feel as a new mom is comparable to nothing you’ve ever experienced.

Here’s a few hilarious, and not so hilarious, things that exhausted moms have confessed to doing while sleep deprived:

#1. You pour cereal in your coffee cup.

#2. When someone is speaking to you, you politely smile all the time and hope it’s appropriate because you weren’t listening 80% of the time.

#3. Forgetting who’s who.

Some days you just can’t get it right. Your kids’ names are interchangeable with the pets’. Other days, you spend precious moments trying to fit your 6-year-old in your 3-year-old’s clothes or trying to burp the dog.

#4. Unusual storage solutions.

Finding baby wipes in the freezer is possible nowadays, and so is a dirty diaper in the fridge. You just can’t seem to figure out where things go and where you put them when you last had them.

#5. You are on auto-pilot constantly.

#6. You have no idea what day or month it is.

#7. You can’t remember your phone number.

#8. You don’t have a phone because you broke it by throwing it at the wall when someone had the nerve to call during nap time.

#9. You’re attempting to soundproof the baby’s room.

#10. You are guaranteed to walk into the doorway no matter how big the door is; you have the bruises to prove it.

#11. You just woke up and had no idea you slept while showering, lying down.

#12. Your pajamas are your happy place.

#13. Everyone walks around on eggshells because they want to get through just one day without you crying.

#14. Everyone has to watch television with subtitles because any sound could wake the baby.

#15. You’ve either washed your face with glue or cleaned your teeth with glitter but lucky you, you were so tired you used your partners toothbrush.

#16. You spend over an hour every day arguing with your partner about who is the most tired.

#17. You just spent 15 minutes trying to find your phone only to realize you had it in your hand and you’ve been calling yourself trying to find it.

sleep deprived

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#18. You’re secretly annoyed at everyone whose had a kid before you for not telling you babies come with brain loss.

#19. You secretly long for the insomnia you had while you were pregnant.

#20. It seems like you’re always asleep but with your eyes open.

#21. You are always at the supermarket or on the way there.

#22. You fall asleep in line.

#23. Your most desired fantasy is a hotel room with a Do Not Disturb sign.

#24. You believe sleep deprivation will be your cause of death.

#25. Fact and fiction have blurred. Is that poop behind the couch or are your eyes playing tricks on you?

#26. You have to continuously re-read every chapter of your book but you still have no idea what it’s about.

sleep deprived

www.gerberlife.com

#27. When you’re sleep deprived and have to wake up in the middle of the night to pee, you consider the cons of simply peeing yourself so you can sleep a little more.

#28. You put orange juice in your cereal but ate it anyway because making another bowl is just too much work.

#29. Breast milk or formula has ended up in your coffee, not on purpose, of course.

#30. You’ve pretended to need to poop so you can have a few minutes to yourself.

#31. You think a poop-cation is the best part of the day.

#32. You’ve lost your coffee in the microwave several times.

#33. You’re always hungry but never really hungry because you graze all day.

#34. Your favorite person is anyone who takes the baby away from you so you can have a nap.

#35. Finally, if hearing the phrase “sleep when the baby sleeps” makes you want to punch someone in the throat, you’re definitely sleep deprived.

Please share some of the absent-minded things you’ve done trying to raise your children.

 

First published at: www.parents.com

Featured image source: www.dailymail.co.uk

Leah

Founder at LetuKenya
Leah was born and raised in Kenya. She has a degree in psychology and divides her time between article writing, blogging and creating original African pieces. She provides her writing services independently and can be found odesk. When she isn’t hunched over a computer, she’s out being inspired by nature.

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