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Pregnancy Horrors in a Hilarious Way

If you’ve had a baby, you know what it feels like to be stripped of all dignity. Whether you’re in for a checkup, in labor, birthing your baby, or attempting to breastfeed those first few days, you can kiss any privacy goodbye. I have had three children and lost all discretion with each one.

Breastfeeding 'help'A prime example of this is when I was attempting to breastfeed my firstborn in the hospital. She was not the cooperative type. She still isn’t, but that’s neither here nor there. In those first few days of breastfeeding – especially if it’s your first child – it’s pretty much impossible to be modest since it takes all hands on deck (quite literally) to get everything working properly.

Well, I was attempting to get things going all by myself (I was brave) and my nurse walked into the room. Imagine my surprise when she recoiled and apologized for seeing me sans hospital gown. At that point, everyone from the doctors to the janitors had seen my boobs, what did another nurse matter?

If my story sounds anything familiar to yours, you will definitely appreciate Line Severinsen’s depiction of pregnancy, childbirth, and young motherhood on Instagram and Facebook. Her brand, Kos & Kaos, offers a hysterical look into the situations no one is (publicly) talking about.

You know … like the inability to see your bikini line in the shower while attempting to shave or pumping in a restroom at a party because your boobs are about to explode? Don’t tell me you’ve haven’t gone through it.

Here are a few more gems:

What you shouldn't say to a pregnant woman

“What not to say to a pregnant woman”

Take it from someone who has gone through three pregnancies: this illustration is absolutely accurate. It really does blow my mind what people will say to a pregnant woman.

My advice: if you start to reconsider what you’re about to say, don’t say it. Unfortunately, most people who say these things to pregnant women don’t have the reconsider portion of the brain hooked up.

birthday-drinking

“A repost since it’s my birthday and I can’t drink? 7 months without alcohol? but still had a nice celebration yesterday at a Indian restaurant and then saw the film #kingsman!”

This is a sentiment women often keep to themselves considering the stigma surrounding alcohol, but pregnant women absolutely want a drink – especially as pregnancies progress. First trimester does what it’s supposed to do and keeps women away from just about everything, but as pregnancies become less unpleasant, it’s no fun to go your own birthday party and order a club soda.

dont-touch-my-belly

“Stop touching my belly!??”

This wasn’t a problem for me, perhaps because I give off the aura of, “If you touch me, I will bite your hand off,” but no pregnant woman wants someone touching their belly. If, by the contrary, you happen to be a pregnant woman okay with people touching your belly, please take one for the team and start touring the country to quench the thirst of all the crazy touchers out there.

Selfie after birth

“Selfie after birth?”

I’m going to go ahead and close with this one. No additional commentary needed.

Chrissie

Freelance Writer at chrissiewywrot.com
Chrissie is a wife, mother of three children and two cats, a freelance writer, public relations professional, and Rodan+Fields Consultant. You can learn more about her business at chrissiewywrot.com or on Facebook (ChrissieWywrot) or Twitter (@Chrissie5213).
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